Every have the feeling that things are spiraling out control and that feeling of free-fall in in your gut and won't go way?
noun: premonition; plural noun: premonitions
a strong feeling that something is about to happen, especially something unpleasant.
I've had some unfortunate dealings with premonitions over the course of my life. I've always had a strong sense of déjà vu, sometimes even able to start predicting what's about to happen and pinpoint when things change. It's never been accompanied with that sense of dread.... They tend to hit me like that hot rush of needles on the skin and brain of "oh shit, I know something just went very wrong and I don't know if I can fix it and I think it's my fault" Yeah, that awful feeling is what's not leaving me alone right now. I got news that a really good job opportunity passed me by this morning and now I can't shake this sense of dread. I felt it even before I opened the damn email. Just like I knew before walking into the last job I had, only to be told the store was being closed. I can think back on many insistence over my life... the thought "oh gods, he has a kid" before Jer told me about his daughter, the sense of dread at Vince having tummy surgery that nearly killed him, each time before the car acted funny and then left me stranded. These are just the ones in recent memory....Why the hell can I predict the lottery or something useful!!??
School may no longer be an option as they are now messing with my financial aid and trying to get me to pay out of pocket for the balance of some quarters. Which I was told would be balanced out by the quarters I had a surplus from my financial aid...turns out that was a bold faced lie. And I'm still having issues with that one professor, even though I'm doing my damnedest to meet her wildly off standards.
Right now I just want this feeling to pass without any further bad coming my way...